Sanyasi Kamneshwari

What you fear and what you want can never be the same. When you fear death, you don't want to die. When you want to die, there is no fear. There is also no fear when you are blindsided with courage. But that is another blog post for another time.

Maybe our spirit soul, the essence of what we are, wants only that which has, at some point been familiar with. When we want to gain sensual pleasures never experienced in this lifetime ever before, we do because there is a certain sense of familiarity that assures us into believing it is what we want.

How does fear of something change to want then? Does that happen when forces outside of us assure us into believing it's what we want? I don't know. There are only questions, unending, and aimless, rolling in the deep.

So does this made up theory imply that our soul, having gone through so much, already assumes what is good for us and lends us that familiarity in our gut that makes us believe in it so wholly?

This is toh, my made up theory. But in relation to this I recall another one that says that when we are conceived into the world, we know everything. And life is a just a beautiful process of unravelling; unlearning. That is very interesting. Maybe that would explain instincts and premonitions.

One should never try and predict the future. Whenever you do, you are making plans. Planning brings disappointment. But this isn't a universal rule. You can plan a career. You can't plan a LIFE. Don't say to yourself, "I will get married when I am 24 and have kids when I am 30 and retire when I am 50." Okay, you can plan retirement. But what if you get stood up at the altar, or your to-be husband dies, or, more realistically you don't find anyone worth marrying? What if you are told you are infertile, and can't adopt because you are declared unfit by all adoption agencies? So many what ifs, every step of the way. What ifs are bad too. Especially the negative ones like "What if I should get my grandma's cancer?" What ifs prepare you too on the other hand. Get yourself examined as you turn 20 and often after, and you can nip it in the bud.

I don't know how this had any relation to the main topic but I am in that mood of penning down thoughts of the day so excuse me, few loyal readers (of my preachy bullshit.)

Great night for shooting stars! I WILL try that one day.

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