Thursday, May 30, 2013

Feel-good Writing

You and you alone have the right and the power to pick yourself back up when you feel like you're in the darkest tunnel. Funnily, (almost made this as a bingo the other day), it's you alone who allows yourself to even let things effect you enough to drive yourself right into the tunnel. But all tunnels have an end. It's only a matter of time; and time is very relative to your emotional state of mind; before the event you're dreading passes by (my exams), and you're back to some semblance of normalcy. A month of depression can feel like 3 months. There's an end to everything that begins. It's just that when we're overwhelmed and too hurt to move because we think it'll only hurt more if we move, and it's so much easier to drown in the misery and even enjoy it just a little bit; it's just that when we're too involved in the sorrow, we don't understand that there is going to be a day, however far in the future, that the thing(s) bringing you down now will probably not matter at all. Not even a little bit. Heck, you may just forget it, and if your mind stumbles across it, you'll smile because of what it did to you. Everything that has happened to you and that you think is bad, every such experience, has inevitably led to you discovering a new strength you thought you never had, that helped you get through it. It's only human to make mistakes, and time is the best healer.

The trick is always to know one thing and know it with such conviction that nothing else can ever weaken it: you only need what you think you need. And what you think you need does not mean it's what you really need. The human mind is easily fooled and it's with only time and experience does one become realistic and need things that actually make their life better, even if it's in small ways.

You just always need to be in sync with your conscience. If it doesn't feel right, it's not right. It's that simple. Don't let anything or anyone affect that. At the end of the day, come what may, the only thing worth satisfying and the only thing you're really answerable to is your conscience.

You need to be selfish in life. You cannot and shouldn't allow yourself to put anyone or anything above you and the things that make you alone happy not including drugs or ridiculous addictions. DRUGS ARE BYAYD, mmkay. Life is really simple. You just need to know what you want. Have goals, short term, long term. But good, achievable goals that make you feel like you're growing. You should always be growing. Pushing yourself to be a better version of who you were yesterday. You only need to make yourself happy. Simple joys you bring upon yourself can make such big differences to the way you deal with the world in general.

Have relationship goals: like, keep my mom happy and keeping in touch with the closest friends. I want to grow emotionally independent of him (yes, there's a 'him', no, don't ask me about it.) Don't lose familiarity. Familiarity is what makes you comfortable.

Have fitness/health goals: I need to get down to 60 kilos by 15th August. That is my ideal weight, and when I do this, I will be so proud of myself. And if I am off by 1-2 kilos, I will be proud nonetheless. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't be extreme. If you're self destructive you will destroy everything that's good in your life.

Have career goals: I need to clear these exams so that I can work and then give the final exams and become a Cost and Management Accountant. I decided I would do this course and I will see it through. Constantly, I need to focus on getting there and it will surely happen. I need to become a CMA so that I can achieve my life goals.

Have life goals: make enough money to see the world, enough to buy the things that would help you settle down, a house, a car. And then I want to build a tree-house in my backyard and plant orange trees. And then on cold long weekend nights, sit up in the tree-house with a book and read by lamplight before crashing on the mini bed I will make (by forcing at water gunpoint) my husband build, which he probably will anyway because of all the torture he would have endured while building the tree-house with me. Get a pug, a golden retriever, a St. Bernard, etc. Okay I'm just going to stay in a dog park and sleep on the bench and meet and play with every dog pink or yellow that walks in throughout the day.

Life is what you make it. And I'm going to make it an enriching and joyous (joyful?) one if that's all I do with it. Sounds like a good plan to me. OH YEAH. OKAY. KTHXBAI.

No comments:

Post a Comment