Friday, August 23, 2013

List Series: 10 Surefire Ways To Be Happy

1. Ignorance is bliss, it really is. Ignore everything that negatively affects your life. Understand that you can't neglect things, that's not going to sit well with your conscience, you shouldn't be rude. But you don't need to put up with anything you don't absolutely have to. And if you feel like you can't escape from it, you can, you just need to look for help, help's always available, don't be anyone's victim, which leads me to point 2.
2. Put yourself first. Never make anybody else's happiness your priority. You're only responsible for how you feel. It's the only thing that matters at the end of the day. In the same way, you can't depend on anyone for your happiness. No one should have that power.
3. Keep it simple. The simplest people are the happiest. Stay away from drama, and don't be so self important that things affect you more than it's normal or intended to. Don't be overinvolved, don't give or receive more than is needed. Just do your work and let life go on as usual.
4. Happiness is a state of mind, think about it. A song can make you so happy. It's actually a very easy thing to do. It's always the little things!
5. Don't settle for anything less than unexpected adventure. I read this somewhere, it's such a cool thought. Having such an attitude is so hopeful, and hope is a wonderful thing. And wonderful things are happiness inducing.
6. There's no formula to happiness. It's not some difficult task. It's a natural feeling. Basically what I'm saying is this list is stupid. You don't have to consciously try so hard.
7. Life is very long, you have a lot of time, a lot of amazing things are going to happen to you. A lot of your dreams are going to come true. How awesome is that!
8. Happiness is a choice.
9. It could be a lot worse. Whatever you're going through, I can tell you for a fact that someone else has it atleast 100x worse. Isn't that good enough reason for you to stop being such a whiny drama queen?
10. Don't deny yourself the opportunity to be happy. Your scope of being happy should widen with this knowledge itself - life is beautiful.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

List Series : 5 Annoying Things I Do Without Meaning To

Let's get straight to it then!

1. Telling myself things I know aren't true / Deciding to not do things I know I will do / Being foolish when I know I shouldn't have to. I am totally using this as a song idea for my next Coursera songwriting assignment! If it can rhyme, why not make it a song that's sublime? :D

2. Starting to read a book by dividing number of all the pages by the number of days I want to finish it in and then not following through with the plan. I'll go to bed at 11 pm thinking I have my quota of 56 pages to read for the day and somehow doze off on the 8th page only to find myself awake again, online on my phone or on one of those unending YouTube sprees that end only when your eyeballs start to feel like they've got paper cuts and despite you, you're off to sleep.

3. You know when you have a little product left in your bathroom in that bottle, shampoo, shower gel, oil, whatever, on a Saturday and you decide you'll finish it on Sunday so you can start the new bottle on a Monday, (how ideal and perfect), but then on Sunday you realise you underestimated how much was left and are forced to be wasteful just so you can fulfill that stupid OCD of starting the new one on a Monday. I always think "why did I think I would need this much shampoo? Maybe I should shower again later today just so I don't over shampoo now, but then wouldn't that be over shampooing anyway, do I want to shampoo twice in one go or twice in the day?" It's a problem. FWP, but still!

4. Every single time I have ever baked something on my own, I decide to not follow the recipe, make my own changes (which at the time seem sensible), put everything in the mixing bowl in one shot instead of doing the dry ones first and then adding the wet ones gradually like it's supposed to be done. And then because of how much I hate being wasteful, tell myself and everyone they're well done and force myself to eat 3 disgustingly salty muffins. (Can you believe I didn't put sugar in a peanut butter banana and chocolate muffin recipe?)

5. Being impulsive. I really don't have a ready example, but 9 times out of 10 when I've acted on impulse I end up being annoyed that I didn't think things through or even so much as imagine the consequences lol.

List Series: 6 Stupid Phrases That Make No Sense (To Me)

Idk why, tonight my mind is abuzz with ideas ever since I randomly wrote the first list in this series. Forgive me if the quality of these lists grow increasingly humourless and nonsensical. Wait why am I apologizing to a mostly known audience, you guys are used to nonsensical shit on here, why else are you even here otherwise?!

Anyway, let's get on with it.

1. "Beg to differ." Okay this one is stupid really. Nowadays if you differ, you just agree to disagree. Why will you be kind enough to beg? It's so jargon-ish. Not a lot of people use it anyway anymore unless they have to do some unavoidable ass licking to get what they want or they're old and that's how they're used to speaking, or they're really mild mannered (pussies).

2. "Beat around the bush." That's what she said, right! :P How does beating around the bush in ANY way imply not getting to the point? I know there's history to this one so don't go telling me it's justified. My Google whoring has made me very knowledgeable about these things okay! This one again is very jargon-ish. With time though it will phase out I suppose.

3. "Cat's out of the bag." This one is just confusing and mildly disturbing. What's the cat doing in the bag? Why? Is it alive? What kind of cat though? Is a small white really fluffy kitty? WHY is it in the bag and why are we removing it now? Why did you ever have to put it in in the first place?! Also again, that's what she said. :P

4. "Almost definitely." So stupid this one is. You can be "completely unsure" but can't be "completely sure." You're definite or not, wtf is ALMOST. What I'm saying is not very sensible but then if you know me you're not going to bother arguing.

5. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Well I beg (on my knees) to differ. 1. some things look better broken, some need to be dismantled to be usable. 2. who says only the broken needs fixing? 3. Fixed doesn't imply better.

6. "Why do good things happen to bad people?" Three words. Boo Fucking Hoo. How naive is "bad people" first of all? Maybe if you weren't such a dickless pussy (well obviously) you'd have the good things going for you instead of to this "bad" guy you speak so vehemently about. Maybe you ought to be "bad" if you want so badly for these "good things" to happen to you!

Kthnxbai

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

List Series : 5 Things That Really Piss Me Off

Since I feel like I've got Writer's Block (idk how real that is btw), I've decided for a while I am going to do a few lists on this vastly under-appreciated (yes, there I said it) blog.

1. Stupid Indian TV serials where the marriage between 2 people is truly and irreparably broken because of the husband being an unfaithful asshole but the stupid uneducated saas and super righteous insanely pretty (read unnecessarily made up) choti bahu decide to do all it takes to save the marriage and the wife in question is inevitably this unbelievably flawless and self pitying goody two shoes who can't imagine for a second that there can be an amazing life without said asshole husband. OH and also INEVITABLY the chick the asshole is seeing is a 2 pence career mad hoe who denies she has anything to do with him to the world and pretends she's single to climb the corporate ladder, doing everyone she tells herself she has to to get to the top. Yes, this really pisses me off, that's why it's number 1 on this list.

2. People who very obviously pretend to be something they're not, and try too hard, especially in a very public scenario. Like for example someone who believes that boy babies are way more desirable than the fairer sex ones and expresses that silently in a group conversation, but when suddenly someone freaks out and says "wtf woman how can you even think that, that's so narrow mindedly fucked up!", she suddenly decides to change her mind completely and says "I was just kidding! obviously any baby, boy or girl is a beautiful god given gift blah blah fucking blah."

3. UNEVEN fucking things. DUDE if the pattern on the pavement is BLUE RED GREEN BLUE RED GREEN, you don't end with BLUE RED GREEN BLUE RED. You need to fucking redo the whole thing so it ends PROPERLY, with that last GREEN. Is that too much to ask for? IS IT?! I'm not really that pissed about this, idk why I had to caps that so much and use "fucking" so much. "Fucking" makes everything so much more intense. :P
I'm late, maybe that explains this whole post. (btw virgins can't be pregnant in case anyone reading this is worried I am going to populate (read pollute) this world anytime soon. (wow I just used brackets in a bracketed sentence and omg I did it again.))

4. Racists, casteists, colourists, sexists, homophobes, hypocrites, ego maniacs, and people who don't understand poetry. Do I even need to elaborate? Maybe the last one. Poems are amazing forms of expression, okay! GTFO if you can't agree.

5. I realise that with each point the line length is shortening. How interesting. It's because I'm running out of things that piss me off so much. Maybe the PMS (idk how real that is either btw) wave (wave? can there be such a thing as a PMS wave?) is retreating. Okay, one more. Let me think. It needs to be 5 point list at least. Ummm. Okay, how about this one : having to randomly pee when you've sat down to watch something or read or play something and you're all comfortable in bed and you have to remove headphones, get out of your comforter and walk, and you literally postpone having to go when you absolutely must and when you finally do it's so good. Wait, this is not very pissy. Oh but wait, it is. :D