Saturday, May 23, 2009

Lame-ass Resolutions!

Today's the day.
Today's the day I'll put my foot down.
Today's the day I'll finally do what must be done.
Not tomorrow.
Not tonight.
Now is the time.
The only time.
I'll listen to the songs I've had for so long but have never heard.
I'll listen to you and you and all of you and all you'll have to say.
I'll listen to me.
I'll do what I think I should do and do it today and not wait for the time I'll not want to do any of the things I wanted it to do before anymore.
I'll make those calls.
I'll get up early.
I'll speak my mind.
I'll be honest and real and only smile when it's genuine.
I'll be more on my toes.
I'll stick to what I need to do and not distract myself or let other things distract me.
I'll not like anyone for sometime.
I'll be more obedient.
I'll not raise my voice.
I'll not be lazy.
I'll read more.
I'll not waste so much time on the computer.
I'll read the paper everyday.
I'll help around the house more.
I'll learn how to cook seriously.
I'll run in the park every morning.
I'll take care of my diet and pamper myself like a proper girl should.
I'll be more attentive about people around me.
I'll dance when I want to.
I'll dress up more often.
I will because I can and I must because I should and if I don't then who would?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Another Rant!

Why do we have to become things, and achieve certain goals in life? Why does human life have to be purposeful and goal oriented? If we have to aim for something then it should be of true happiness. And true happiness comes out of feeling satisfied about everything. But the human mind is corrupted to not be satisfied and to always want more, to always want to achieve goals. Can anyone be truly happy? There's always fear in the end, if and when you do get all you ever want and wanted. The fear of losing all you have. What is life about then? Becoming what you want to, doing all the things you want to? But the wanting never stops. So, life is just an endless spiral of wanting and getting and then wanting even more and then getting again and not getting means failure? What's the point? What are we trying to prove? We want to be so rich and so loved and so famous and so happy. That's all, right? We want no war and yet we're so frustrated and raging war perpetually. Why do we want to be successful? Because that's what we've been doing all this time. All of mankind has lived and is living their life with the sole purpose of always winning and being happy. Isn't there another way to live? Has anyone lived a purposeless yet happy life? Is it possible for us to just be contented with the little joys that used to thrill us when we were children? Can anyone retain the unconditional happiness of childhood joys? We want to do the things we want to because we are expected to and when we don't, when we even question authority, we feel guilty. What is the guilt for? For not being able to perfectly screw your life by following the general route of human existence? That of doing what is expected of us to do? Life should be all about love. That's the only way we can get this place to be livable. Money, lust, ego, greed, religion, politics, these are the real greenhouse gases. These are the real culprits. That's why we are so unhappy. That's why we keep wanting. We think god will give us what we all want. That's not possible. We all can't have everything. Simple logic. There is no god. If there was or were god(s) the world as we know it would be different. And the world is what we know it to be and what we want it to be at the same time. We make the beds we're sleeping in. Nothing like destiny. You get what you deserve and what goes around comes around. Why i am writing this i don't know. I know that I'm trying to understand how life works and what does this all mean. But writing about it won't make me know. I have to go through life. Go through all the wanting and getting and sometimes not getting and in the end fear that all will be lost. Ha ha.

Monday, May 04, 2009

A New Poem. If free verse random lines strung together makes one.

A song without a chorus.
A wallet without a picture.
It's the same sky we're under.
But we're not going to be the same tomorrow.
The sun is sure.
We are not.
It's the same face we see in our mirrors our whole lives.
That face seems to us different everyday.
Our thoughts.
Our difficult minds.
Our fragile hearts.
Our lives.
My life.