Tuesday, August 13, 2013

List Series : 5 Things That Really Piss Me Off

Since I feel like I've got Writer's Block (idk how real that is btw), I've decided for a while I am going to do a few lists on this vastly under-appreciated (yes, there I said it) blog.

1. Stupid Indian TV serials where the marriage between 2 people is truly and irreparably broken because of the husband being an unfaithful asshole but the stupid uneducated saas and super righteous insanely pretty (read unnecessarily made up) choti bahu decide to do all it takes to save the marriage and the wife in question is inevitably this unbelievably flawless and self pitying goody two shoes who can't imagine for a second that there can be an amazing life without said asshole husband. OH and also INEVITABLY the chick the asshole is seeing is a 2 pence career mad hoe who denies she has anything to do with him to the world and pretends she's single to climb the corporate ladder, doing everyone she tells herself she has to to get to the top. Yes, this really pisses me off, that's why it's number 1 on this list.

2. People who very obviously pretend to be something they're not, and try too hard, especially in a very public scenario. Like for example someone who believes that boy babies are way more desirable than the fairer sex ones and expresses that silently in a group conversation, but when suddenly someone freaks out and says "wtf woman how can you even think that, that's so narrow mindedly fucked up!", she suddenly decides to change her mind completely and says "I was just kidding! obviously any baby, boy or girl is a beautiful god given gift blah blah fucking blah."

3. UNEVEN fucking things. DUDE if the pattern on the pavement is BLUE RED GREEN BLUE RED GREEN, you don't end with BLUE RED GREEN BLUE RED. You need to fucking redo the whole thing so it ends PROPERLY, with that last GREEN. Is that too much to ask for? IS IT?! I'm not really that pissed about this, idk why I had to caps that so much and use "fucking" so much. "Fucking" makes everything so much more intense. :P
I'm late, maybe that explains this whole post. (btw virgins can't be pregnant in case anyone reading this is worried I am going to populate (read pollute) this world anytime soon. (wow I just used brackets in a bracketed sentence and omg I did it again.))

4. Racists, casteists, colourists, sexists, homophobes, hypocrites, ego maniacs, and people who don't understand poetry. Do I even need to elaborate? Maybe the last one. Poems are amazing forms of expression, okay! GTFO if you can't agree.

5. I realise that with each point the line length is shortening. How interesting. It's because I'm running out of things that piss me off so much. Maybe the PMS (idk how real that is either btw) wave (wave? can there be such a thing as a PMS wave?) is retreating. Okay, one more. Let me think. It needs to be 5 point list at least. Ummm. Okay, how about this one : having to randomly pee when you've sat down to watch something or read or play something and you're all comfortable in bed and you have to remove headphones, get out of your comforter and walk, and you literally postpone having to go when you absolutely must and when you finally do it's so good. Wait, this is not very pissy. Oh but wait, it is. :D