It is truly amazing how much thinking you can get done while brushing your teeth.
Despite the noise, loud childish cheering at 2 am. Despite the scatter of unorganized overexcited ideas all gushing and so very loud, annoying even.
It's amazing how soon things change, how unexpectedly and when it does, it feels so right and so normal. You look exactly the same. But in your head, and your heart, there's this freshness of thought, a complete new page is turned, but it's not a new page really. It's been lying crumbled in a pocket and you've only now found the strength to stop holding so tightly your fist around it; and to surely and brightly bring it up to the table, spread it open, ease out every crease with your fingers and look upon it with entirely new perspective. The page that was once so full of your scribbling, with no space to so much as squeeze in the breadth of a hair strand, is now blank as can ever blank be.
No matter it's all a platter of scattered clutter. But it's new and you can use it, organize it, compartmentalize and unite them all and bring to a simmer. You don't always need to depend on what you know to renew what you wish you could be. You don't always need to be so hopeful that the you you were will catch up to the present and fix all that's broken or all that's perfectly good the way it is but you're deluded enough to hallicunate flaws. There's always forward motion. You learn as you go. You move, constantly, rapid motion.
There are larger things at play. Open your eyes and see it all as it does fit so jaggedly in the biggest picture your mind can fathom. You're unlimited; never think you're not - so long as you can think, you can never be tied, never be lost (atleast not miserably so), never ever be stuck.
Don't take the easy route - don't succumb to your old ways, it's definitely easiest. Never underestimate what you're capable of. Everything is self-inflicted, everything external that affects you is allowed to - you gave it permission.
Selective viewing, selective hearing, selective feeling. We're a very elite kind, us humans. Don't conform. Then again, conforming to not conforming is conforming.
Creativity is boundless. Your imagination is the most useful tool you will ever use. And the most durable. And the most fatal.
Self destruct, crash and burn, freeze, switch off, reboot, restore(skippable), restart, and work, dig dig dig in the mine the whole day through, breathe. Respite despite shouting bosses and the pressure.Smell the delightful daffodils. And repeat.
And now I will go to sleep.