Friday, March 28, 2014

List Series: Things That Piss Me Off About Relationships

1. How narrow minded separating parents behave; they become so insecure, act immature and so full of hate and are shameless enough to advocate hate and want sides to be picked by their innocent children.

2. People's attitudes towards having children. They feel like it's their right to procreate and that at some point you have to "settle down" which unfortunately translates to reproduction. And their anti-adoption outlook, the whole you-can't-love-another-as-much-as-you-can-love-your-own bullshit. It's so ironic then that adoptive parents are more proactive about parenthood. And since when have we become so self-and-what-is-created-out-of-our-nether-regions centred? 9 times out of 10 you love hardest and deepest those things you can never hope to aspire to and that can never be truly yours, and the reason for this kind of love being that powerful is just that - because they're not yours. It's so annoying to see a young, heavily daft, physically beautiful couple talk about having kids having no parental instincts and only gushing at ideas the same thought process as "omg omg our babies will be so cute!"

3. Emotional neediness and vulnerability in someone who very clearly is better off but can't get themselves to identify their strengths. I could go on and on but I think less is more here.

4. The feeling of emotional entitlement between two people in or out of a relationship. Nothing pisses me off more than listening to someone wear my ear off about how after a bad breakup one of them felt like "I did so much for her/him and see what I got. *sob sob*" Boo hoo! You had it coming just because of that attitude. What especially irks me is when these things either of them have done are monetary. "You know I bought her a phone and a house and a car and she broke my heart." It's so characterless to align emotions with the value of money which when you comes down to it, is worthless. No one owes no one nothing.

5. The whole pretentious game. You know what I'm talking about. Chasing someone, playing hard to get, manipulating response times, manipulating every thing from texts to nuances of behaviour, the "silent treatment" (lol this is actually the absolute worst thing you could do), delaying forgiveness for petty non-crimes, "taking bhao" or acting like an egotistical maniac. Communication, crystal clear, and super honest is key and I don't ever see myself feeling any different about that.

6. Emotional blackmail. God I don't even think this requires elaboration. I absolutely can't stand people who dominate or "wear the pants" (a very homophobic phrase btw) emotionally in the relationship. I don't entirely condemn submissive behaviour, :P but nothing pisses me off more to see someone allow themselves to be ruled in a lot of ways just by the use of emotional blackmail by their "better halves" which again is another phrase that is so annoying.

7. The third party interference. If there's one thing I strongly believe in, it is that a relationship, any kind for that matter, should be between the two and just that. It is a bad idea on so many levels, to get an outsider involved. However close that person maybe to the two of you, he/she is still very much an outsider. No one knows as well all the details like the two of you do, it is you both alone with the shared history, even if said party's been around the two of you as a dependable true friend for the longest time. The only time this could be justified is if there has been miscommuncation and either of the parties have closed themselves off entirely and refuse to be reached by the "offending" party. Otherwise interference just makes everything messy and kills the sanctity of the relationship and it becomes all kinds of TV soap crazy and dramatic.

I find it incredibly amusing how wise I am about these things not having had experienced them myself (well not all of it) but rather just understanding and learning by observation. Okay that just sounded incredibly know-it-all ish. I'm not trying to be all sanctimonious and judgey and angsty (I'm very chilled out atm) but I can see how I might sound one or all of those things.

I think when you passionately write (read type furiously deaf and blind to the world around you) everything on your mind on a blog you become self-aware of how crap the writing is. Eventually. Lol.

"If I spend my time practising when will I preach?"
Kimya Dawson (and whatever her nether region spews) is a goddess and her words are pure gold and a thousand times quotable. For example, "Life is a poopstain." I'm going to let you think about the profundity of that quote now as I sign off. :)

1 comment:

  1. How annoying. I wrote a lengthy comment which did not appear. Ahh, the joys of using a 'smart'phone.

    Basically...not bad at all KamnaKitty. However, spare a little time for practise also...lest the balance swings unwieldly towards preaching.

    That being said - what you preach is surely way in advance of what you have practised. So, bravo!