Cornish Grapes... No. Rawest poem minus mystery!

Efforts to drive away this madness inside
This overpowering drive

I just want to be able to be as undefined as I can
Unrefined thoughts in a orderly appearing mind
I want to lend weight to my limitless imagination
Fuel my undying desires
And pursue my dreams without any inhibitions
I want to be fearless
And want to be inspired to do all this and all that
I claim to know what I seek
When what I seek is what I wouldn't naturally be drawn toward
When what I know is enough to make me feel closed up than ever
I need inspiration I need strength
To go after all that I would never
To do all that I can
Not all that I must
All that I must
Is all I always do anyway

So what point in such effort
When I myself am driving toward the madness
Instead of steering clear far far away
And being what I always end up being
With cowardice filled to the brim
And all hope extinguished from my so very weak eyes