Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Boy Busied by Buses

He likes Spiderman but he's terrified of spiders
He buys the twenty rupee pack of peanuts
On the bus to the valleys beyond the city
The peanut shells are mothers to the peanuts
The dichotomous peanuts are sheltered from the harsh world in their brown housings
Here the boy sits and peels off the shells
Discarding them all in a sheer plastic bag
All dead mothers lying together
He shrugs away the dark thought and tries to focus his mind on the electroacoustic music wafting slowly though this earphones

A portrait of his favourite colours is the desktop wallpaper of his choosing
He's always had an affinity for abstract anonymous art pieces
His mind can't focus and so can't his attention
It's something he's had to forgive himself for feeling

Others around him assume that it's okay
That him having an unstable mind is somehow an acceptable part of who he is
But he doesn't care about the others as much as he cares about himself

Nobody has ever attempted to understand him
Nobody has ever cared

The bus stops suddenly, and he immediately imagines the driver feeling a familiar uncontrollable urge to pee
"But that's my bladder"
He looks towards his damp trousers and realises ten seconds too late

He doesn't like the way that the travelling stranger just looked at him
As if he wasn't human, as if what he just unwittingly did wasn't natural

He clenches his fist and his cheeks redden with rage and shame as he quietly stands up, gets off the bus and watches the curly dark hair of his bare toes stand up sharp because of cold contact with the smooth concrete

A silent drop of blood escapes through his stubbornly tight fist

And again begins his time to wait
The next bus would be here in twenty three minutes

🍪

A for Aloo Bhujiya
B for Banoffee pie
C for Cheese omelette
D for Dutch truffle pastry
E for Eggs sunny side up
F for Frappuccino
G for Gulab Jamun
H for Hot chocolate
I for Iced Tea
J for Jam butter bread
K for Kaju
L for Lemon tart
M for Mango
N for Nuggets
O for Oranges
P for Pasta
Q for Quiche
R for Ramen
S for Samosa
T for Tuna Sub
U for Unsweetened chocolate
V for Vada pav
W for Watermelon
X for Xmas mulled wine
Y for Yoghurt
Z for Zapiekanka

Monday, December 24, 2018

After Twenty Years

If you could only see what you gave up on in time to work hard to keep it
You wouldn't have lost it forever
Because once you give up and move on, you're likely not going to look back

Nothing is irredeemable unless it was never good
It is very redeemable if the good stuff came from from a sincere, pious place

You didn't deserve her
Because her love for you for pure
It never held back, it never asked for much
Besides respect, besides acknowledgement, besides attention

I like to think sometimes that you regret it
You regret losing such a beautiful love
I like to dream that your new life feels uncomfortable
Like it's not supposed to be real, like the first reality you forged was completely irreplaceable

But I know that's just fanciful thinking
It's a childish wish

I like to think that maybe her love is thinning with the years flying by
But a heart once broken never truly heals
Especially since that heart never knew another

You will never realise what you lost
Because you never knew what you had

And I should feel sorry for her
But I feel sorry for you

It's better to see even if the picture's not pretty
It beats being blind

Saturday, December 08, 2018

My Top 16 Fave Beauty Products

This is unlikely of me to do, but I thought of putting together all my favourite skincare products of all time. While I'm not big on makeup, I love me some indulgent bath and body products. That said, I can't say no to a nice eyeliner and I love a good lip balm.

Growing up, my father would take a lot of international business trips and he got into the habit of bringing me nice bath products every time. I got so used to it, that every time he'd come home, regardless of how post bedtime it was, I'd rush to open his bag and find the goodies myself. He still remembers my love for that kind of stuff and the last time I saw him, he got me two giant bottles of Pantene and Sunsilk shampoo. Not exactly what I was looking for, but it's the thought that counts!

This is the stuff that I'm truly shaukeen about and the kind of stuff I imagine I'll always want to splurge on. I'm not one for material things, but this stuff is right up my alley! After all, pampering yourself is a luxury you should invest in very seriously. 😀

Face Care:
I know how important it is for you to religiously follow a face care regime, but I'm not very consistent. I know I should be forming a habit of it, but I'm still learning as I go. Here are some products I really like using on my face.

1. Lush Ultrabland Cleanser
It's meant to be a cleanser / makeup remover for really dry or dry/combination skin. I bought it on impulse on holiday in Australia when I first noticed my skin going from oily to dry. At first I found the product to be, well, really bland. It has a strange fragrance of honey and wax which is not surprising because it's been made using beeswax and rose water and glycerine. It's a really simple formula and I use it more as a night cream on nights when I feel like my skin's drying up. The longer you massage it into your skin, the oilier the composition becomes, and overnight I find that it adds a lot of hydration deep in to my skin. No better feeling than that!

2. Lucas' Papaw Ointment
I noticed my sister reaching for a red tube one cold evening and dabbing on just a little bit of product onto her lips. The smell is incredibly unique and takes getting used to. It's made from fermented papaya fruit and is extremely, can I say, ridiculously moisturising. I use it anywhere and anytime I feel like my skin's about to shut shop. Works beautifully on rashes, boils, and generally on uncooperative skin days.

3. Pears Original Face Wash
A classic choice for face wash I absolutely love. Unlike the top two, this one smells actually quite nice. I love glycerine as an ingredient - it's mild, non irritating, and cleans really well. I love to try different face washes all the time, but this one is always my go-to.

4. Khadi Sandalwood Face Scrub
Perks of the job, I got to try my first tin of this outstanding scrub for free after we conducted a little photoshoot the product for The Khadi Shop online catalogue. I like using scrubs on my face with very little water because then I can get a really thorough and intense scrub. The creamy yet coarse granules in this scrub does my face so good. I usually scrub for about 5 minutes in front of the TV and then leave it on for another 10 minutes before doing a thorough rinse off. The result? Very smooth and clean skin - especially my nose!

5. Vicco Turmeric with Sandalwood Oil Cream
A rather indigenous choice, but I've been sold on this cream since I used to watch the old TV commercials as a wide-eyed-eager-to-be-a-grown-ass-woman 10 year old. Like the jingle goes, it's not a cosmetic product, but actually an ayurvedic medicine for your skin. It's got the good stuff that your Nani would approve of - turmeric and sandalwood. It's not great if the weather is cold, so I normally use it on hot summer nights when I feel like my skin about to freak out on me. Also, can I just say that it smells heavenly? I mean, it feels like you're a princess in some Aryan kingdom and you've just had your little ladies bathe you as you emerge all steamed skin from your bathhouse ready for a midnight dalliance with the hot stable boy. (That escalated quickly lol)

Body Care:
With body wash products, what matters most to me is how they smell. I simply get obsessed with the fragrance. I also enjoy an exfoliating body scrub or a soap with hardcore granules for scrubbing.

1. Palmer's Cocoa Butter Body Wash
One word to describe this body wash would be indulgence. I wish they made a body splash and room freshener or candles in this scent. Like, I want all my babies (both human and non) to smell like this.

2. Palmolive Thermal Spa
This one's like the best of both worlds - it smells like the ocean and it's got scrubby granules. I could go through bottles of these and never get enough. It's also easily available compared to this other stuff and not expensive. It's great to use in the summers.

3. Original Source - Anything
I really like the brand. I must read every word on the packaging before I use a bath product and this brand never disappoints. They have an amazing range of body washes but I've only ever tried maybe 4-5 of them. One day I'll try them all!

4. Liril Soap
If there was ever a smell I could eat, Liril would be my top choice. My earliest memory of this scent is sitting in a lodge room bed in Mahabaleshwar while on a weekend break from boarding school and my mom handing me this soap for the first time. I just sat and smelled it for 15 minutes! So good.

5. A Wild Soap Bar Soap Set
I went through a short lived phase where all I wanted to do in life as a 17 year old was make soap. I found this very endearing handmade soap company website and I liked it so much. I had to get their 8-soap sampler and actually made a Amazon.com account back then just so I could order it and ship it to India. Totally worth the custom charges I paid! Each soap was fascinating like a story - the most amazing ingredients and colours and textures. It was like bathing using the very fragrant earth of different planets each day. Exquisite!

6. Lush Rub Rub Rub
What I love about Lush as a brand, besides the personalised and recyclable containers of course, is their product lineup. Such creative names of products they have! And the products itself are so nice. This is a blue body scrub that contains sea salt and smells like the ocean again which I really love.

Hair Care:
I love taking care of my hair. Is there is anything more self-indulgent than a nice head massage before a 10 hour long weekend hibernation? I think not.

1. Tamanohada - 005 Fig
For our last night in Japan, my sister and I decided to stay in a very nice all female capsule hotel called 9h in Tokyo. Everything about the experience was divine, but if I could sneak something from there, it would be this wonderful shampoo. It cleansed without compromise on moisture, and I felt like I broomstick-flew my way through tall casuarina trees in the middle of an enchanting Estonia, all the while my hair flying and capturing the intense aromas of the environs.

2. Kerala herbs in a bottle
My friend recently took a trip to Kerala and brought back for me a glass bottle full of very natural and intensely aromatic herbs. I love nothing better than to top it up with hot organic cold compressed coconut oil on a Monday night only to use it for my scalp and hair on a sleepy early Saturday night.

3. Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo with Camellia hot oil
The best things in life don't last long, and my days with this shampoo have been all too few. No other shampoo has ever smelled this good, made my hair so clean and bouncy. I will jump on any opportunity to get this shampoo back in my life.

4. Clairol Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner
It's blue and smells so nice and coconutty (why is this not a word, lame). It makes my hair dreamy soft. I've not used this conditioner as much as I'd like!

5. Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar with Patanjali Almond Hair Oil
Raw, unfiltered ACV with 'The Mother' has just endless health and beauty benefits. I get really scaly scalp issues with dandruff when it starts getting cool. Oil on it's own doesn't do me any good, and the oil I like best after coconut is the Patanjali Almond hair oil. So what do I do? I combine the two, get a good hair soak and then wash off with regular shampoo. My dandruff is cured in about 2 weeks easy!

And that ends my list of faves. I intend to write more such easy to jot lists in the near future. It feels good to share things like this 😄

ChAI

I used AI to make my chai this morning.   Why? Because I wanted to see if I’d still get that dopamine hit from something I didn’t even make....