Am using amusing lines

Aniket's funny Kate, the gujju kitten

I'm not a cat person, but with growing older and all that comes with moving away from people to moving closer to animals, one thing you come to realise is that cats are just hopelessly hungry dogs who happen to love cleaning themselves more

Sheldon, the don of shells

Little shells donned in a necklace is so beachy and the don of shells wears multiple such endo(r)nments that don('t) really make him look very formidable as a don should seem but the ocean and its creatures fear him just the same

A house doesn't feel like a home until...
You walk into the toilet for a tinkle and end up reading 64 pages of the Tinkle double digest and it's 45 minutes later

Lots of happenings continue to happen long after they've happened

If everyone did what they wanted to do all at the same time I think everyone would feel like OMG I think everyone is doing what they want to do and so am I but why am I feeling so good as I shouldn't really care as long as I'm doing what I want to do because I don't think anyone else is happy about me doing what I want to do so why should I give them the benefit of my reciprocy ok wait I think it's reciprocity

Doing nothing is far more satisfying than being nowhere because being somewhere unfamiliar can feel like nowhere sometimes but doing something familiar can feel like doing nothing most times

The Jap chap liked chapstick for his chapped Jap lips

I dug up a list of story ideas I wrote on my Nokia E63 notes in college and now it's lame but I miss my old imagination and ideas now that I'm older

A billion colours. An intense theory about how every person is a colour, and how some people are similar than others because they're part of the same tone or main colour group and how white alpha meets black alpha and they give birth to beautiful grey babies

The eighth dwarf. A suspenseful sequel to The Snow White where an eighth (that's a tonguey word) dwarf brother is discovered and he is, surprise surprise, evil and schemes with the witch or whoever that jealous old lady is in that story to assassinate Snow for good

Two train babies. Ravi paar story by Gulzar we studied back in college had an interesting story about twin babies and them separating on the train or something, undeveloped but could be another sequel.

The seal's squeaky sequel. Just thought of this one

What would Robinson Crusoe do if he was a woman during her period? I guess he would do what the lady in Blue Lagoon did with leaves or something

The Cobra's crowbar
The peculiar pelican

Yeah, now it's out there and all you Pritams of the content world can feel free to "borrow" some of this very refined and profound material. You're welcome.

Oh and what's up with 'dark humour' and 'black comedy'?