I'm full of it 😅

My heart is full of grace

for what I have, and been given

As those are two different things

What I have is what I choose to keep

What I've been given is by, of, and from love

My heart is full of hunger

for what I am to learn

So much to see and do

Seeking discomfort like a junkie

Yet anxious because of fleeting, slippery time

The newness of knowledge and unasked for wisdom

like holes in a blanket of complacency and self righteousness

My heart is full of discontentment

for everything I've told myself I need

but don’t have yet

Yearning and obsession with the idea that what I need will save me from who I am

like holding onto sand so tight that it's a palmful of nothing by the time I'm ready to open up

My heart is full of grief

for all I have lost

Versions of myself I miss like I would an old dear friend

Corners and drawers in a room that no longer exists

Except in the squiggly creases of long term memory

My heart is full of hope

that is largely little; sometimes large and sometimes little

Ultimately at the core is a forever optimist hiding behind the ruse of self-deprecation and self-pity 

Hope that I will endure, I must endure 

Ready to do the work

The work that is work enough

The end of the tunnel famously brims bright