Sneak

I heard you twice 

I liked that you seemed okay with me being quiet

Last I checked, my fingers and yours seemed perfectly intertwined

This morning, the sky feels renewed and there's a draft that plunges into the bare feet of these unclean windows

The birds have colluded and my tranquil tantrum feels wrongfully disbursed and willfully discarded 

I'm not ready yet

And the mynahs could care less

The orchestra I didn't ask for, ruining my own wicked orchestration 

So I try to forego my stubbornness

Attempt to seek solace in what I can't control 

Mirror Mirror

Very self aware this morning

Of being watched while I watch my reflection

Accepting of these unruly flyaways

They're uniquely mine

Not at all happy about that very angry inflated boil near my piercing

Beginning to make peace with that wrinkle forming from smiling too much 

Exquisitely distracted by tender eyelid folds because they remind me of another pair I adore

Conscious all of a sudden as I just noticed that awful post makeup morning after eye gunk

Pleased at how well matched my earphones and kaftan is

The Deviant Strand

 

The one I live on is Blue

Had a very trippy dream about my sister being here and saying "Kamna do you want to play The Giant?" and then I sit next to her and put on VR glasses. Next second I am inside the game and I am a blue dot.

The objective of the game is to make as tall a structure as possible and it feels so easy because for the first minute I am just moving upwards and the building is getting created and then I hear her say "ready?"

But I don't reply and by that time I see that the whole game has zoomed out and for a second I see that the structure that I made is sooo small and I am not even visible.

Then the next second it zooms all the way in to me and I am very small on the structure and suddenly there are lots of options on the screen to build more structure to scale the existing structure and to increase speed and I do that and realise as I am moving the picture stays the same so it doesn't feel like I am moving at all until I see I am nearing the edge of the structure and because I am going too fast I don't realise when to stop and I end up stopping at the very edge and seeing the most frightful dip!

But it looks like a very deep well of white nothingness and it is so hard to judge the depth except that you know there is a very far line like a vertical horizon. 

 

Then I woke up

What I think the dream meant:

Felt pretty philosophical.

The blue dot being our planet. The need to keep going up humanity's greed. And then the recalibration to zooming so way out the realisation that it is quite futile.

And with our progress with science and tech, it is not just us who are going up and up and up but so is our planet. By the time we reach to the very top is when we realise that when we fall, it is going to be catastrophic and the scale of the catastrophe just grows because we are nowhere close to that realisation.

2021: The Indian COVID Poem

Januar-eally feeling good about 2021

Februar-eally feels like we've beaten the virus

March-anges are unwelcome and frightening 

April-ots of people get COVID all of a sudden

May-ou do some fundraising for relief

June-ow we all scramble to get the vaccine

July-ing in bed at night worrying a little less

August-rive to brace ourselves for wave 3

September-eady to kick it's sorry oriental butt

October-eally hopeful that the worst is over

November-s of this fiery pandemic are dying

December-igghtttt! No cases for days now!

A Love Note to Fruit

Monday I spent 30 minutes or so

Devouring an 80% ripened banana

Fascinated by the tiny banana seeds

The 3 part geometric break in its cylinder

The shape, size and tapered form

Each banana, like a fingerprint, unique 

My heart is full and my soul is sated

Tuesday I cut open a large watermelon 

As I made decisive, familiar cuts of chunks

I pondered over its resilience

Contentment with living just to be consumed

Its end, a home in horse or human bowels

So fluid, so beautifully rich in red

My heart is full and my soul is sated 

Wednesday I welcomed the sight of papaya

That unique Pantone orange 

Fleshy deliciousness in all its diced glory

A womb of tantalizingly shiny black seeds

Intimidatingly bitter & imperfect outside

Concealing a world of peculiar flavour

My heart is full and my soul is sated

Thursday I grabbed a refrigerated apple

Mindfully crunched a mouthful

Silently appreciating how wholly sized it is

How perfectly shaped for holding

A single serving size it's very nature

Along with a most special, appetizing scent 

My heart is full and my soul is sated

Friday I peeled a mosambi or sweet lime

Peeling, not slicing, so that the reward of it

The citrus surprise of it would be better

It took me a good 15 minutes to unravel

To meticulously puncture each little string

Marvelling at unabashed bursts of freshness

My heart is full and my soul is sated

Saturday I said a prayer of thanks for chikoo

As I knifed into its flesh I sat in awe

And amazement at nature's bounty

So seemingly dull with its brown cover

Yet greatly gratifying gorgeousness

Such surprising spheres of sweetness

My heart is full and my soul is sated

Sunday my mom handed me fresh coconut

My front molars rejoicing with every slicing 

The effort it takes to reveal its inner secrets 

Musing how its the onion of the fruit kingdom

One makes you cry, the other breaks furniture

But the work, as usual, is more than worth it

My heart is full and my soul is sated

My Crusade for a Children's Fiction Revolution

Children needs have evolved over the years. They are smarter, more intuitive and curious. Today's children demand non stop stimulation.

Society has evolved beyond recognition. Most parents are no longer full-time parents. Most families are smaller with rarely any grandparents and in a lot of cases just a single parent. Most parents are also more proactive and involved in what their children are consuming - be it their nourishment from food, education or entertainment.

For a long time now there has been a growing need for high quality education that doesn't feel like a lesson plan from 20 years ago and schooling that goes beyond question papers, Zoom calls and yawning students.

More than ever, today's children need empowerment. They need a push to use their imagination. They need the opportunity to apply their evolved minds. They need to not be funneled to choose a career, work till death and scale invisible corporate ladders in the pursuit of money and then some. Their minds must be unshackled and let loose to run wild beyond the confines of screens. Their minds need not fester with screen addiction from the age of three. 

We need stronger children who can raise themselves up. We need children whose minds are creatively cultivated, who sharpen their empathy and transform into compassionate individuals with a strong sense of ownership of who they are in the world - their sense of self.

We need to assess what specific value systems and what life skills are most crucial in shaping children into self sufficient powerhouses of talent.

Similarly, we need to identify culprits responsible that seed wrong, outdated or irrelevant ideas into their minds. It could be an innocent old movie. Or a nursery rhyme. Or even toys.

Children will ultimately grow in any environment. But as parents, the steering wheel of that growth is in our hands. We decide, just like the media with news does today, or WhatsApp Uncles and Aunties do today, what message is transmitted to these young, keen-to-learn ears.

What I would like to start at some point is writing modern children's fiction in the form of micro stories for today's babies and bachas. But I need direction from you, dear reader. What would you say are 3 top values you'd like your children to inculcate? Doesn't matter if you are a parent or not. Please humour me.

4th Wall in Books

You know how actors break the fourth wall and look into the camera?

I want to do that in a book.

Have the main character think about whether this was a book or even say something like "So I told person x how I was feeling and everything that happened from page 124"

Be Led by Lead